Invasion of the Body Snatchers

00:00:00 Ever wonder if Hollywood’s remake fetish existed in the ‘70s? Let me answer that for you: yes. The original Invasion of the Body Snatchers was released in 1956. It’s remake was created in 1978. We’re watching the remake because I have no idea where I can find the original; Psycho was difficult enough to track down.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers is directed by Philip Kaufman, who is also one of the original creators of Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones, and stars Donald Sutherland (yes, Jack Bauer’s father), Jeff Goldblum, and Leonard Nimoy (yes, that Spock).

I think we are dealing with aliens but I cannot confirm. So let’s just begin. Horror Holiday presents Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

00:00:52 We open the film on Mars. So now I can confirm that we are dealing with aliens. Cannot confirm Xenomorphs though.

00:01:31 Jellyfish-like organisms from Mars set sail into space. Be free, little ones!

00:02:11 And they come to Earth! Be careful, Jellyfish. Humans don’t look kindly on immigrants initially. Probably best to lay low.

00:03:14 It’s raining. Brad Pitt can be heard in the distance yelling about a box or something. We carry on.

00:03:51 It looks like the organisms have entered Earth via the rain? Who knew space existed within Cumulus clouds.

00:04:24 Awww and they’re becoming flowers. I, for one, embrace our new alien overlords…

00:04:59 Young but still balding Robert Duvall hangs out on the swings in a playground; is totally creepy.

00:05:57 Elizabeth arrives at her apartment and begins telling her boyfriend or husband or boy toy about some rare flower she found at the park. Her boyfriend yells about some bullshit foul happening in the Golden State Warriors’ game.

00:06:37 Donald Sutherland, from the Department of Health, arrives at a restaurant. The restaurant scrambles to hide all of their rat traps.

00:07:35 Sutherland is sporting a kick ass perm that only Sigourney Weaver could truly appreciate.

00:08:38 Sutherland finds a rat turd in the soup and immediately shuts down the restaurant. Donald Sutherland, the hero we deserve, but not the one we need.

00:10:20 Sutherland returns to his car and finds his windshield busted by the wait staff. Cool, busboys. Cool.

“Yeahhhh soooo, you guys are shut down. Like, immediately.”

00:12:11 Elizabeth and boy toy fall asleep with their rare flower of love sitting in a glass on their night stand.

00:12:52 Elizabeth awakens to find boy toy gently cleaning up broken glass. She questions him sincerely but he rises, puts the shards into a garbage pale and calmly walks outside to a waiting garbage truck. Elizabeth witnesses all of this curiously from her living room window. Long after the garbage truck has left, boy toy remains still on the sidewalk.

00:14:13 Elizabeth walks to work. Practically everyone else is sprinting, 28 Days Later-style, in the complete opposite directions. Elizabeth is quite the observant girl.

00:14:31 She arrives at the Department of Health and reports to her boss, Donald Sutherland.

00:15:03 Can we take a second to appreciate Donald Sutherland’s perm and mustache combo. Bravo, sir. Brav-o.

00:15:08 She tells him about her strange experience with the boyfriend this morning. Sutherland gives her the rat turd. Cannnnn you feeelllll the loveeeee tonighttttttt.

Awwwwww

00:16:15 Elizabeth returns home from work; apparently it was a short work day. Her boyfriend is still behaving awfully strange. Since the boyfriend appears to not be dead yet (as I’d hoped), I guess I have to give him a name. It will be Geoff.

00:16:25 Geoff tells Elizabeth that he gave away his Warriors’ season tickets to some co-worker. SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG, YOU GUYS!

00:16:51 Elizabeth attempts to get it on with Geoff but when she lays a finger on his finely combed hair, the mood shifts. He leaves the apartment and, once again, stands at his post on the sidewalk. A vehicle approaches and he enters.

00:17:12 Hey Elizabeth, girl, you should probably break up with your weird as fuck boyfriend.

00:17:37 She decides to go over to Donald Sutherland’s house. He cooks as she voices her boyfriend troubles. I mean, at least Elizabeth is about 85% more aware than most horror movie characters that her boyfriend may be fucking possessed.

00:19:11 Sutherland makes Elizabeth dinner and they converse. I can see what’s happenninggg. And they don’t have a clueeee.

00:20:07 Elizabeth does one of the weirdest things I have ever seen with her eyes. That moment may make the ‘holy shit that was horrifying’ lists for Horror Holiday. Please never do that again.

00:20:10 Sutherland is amused. Whatever floats your boat, dude.

00:21:07 The next day, Sutherland brings his stained dress shirt to the dry cleaners. The lady scolds him for his coffee stains. She probably scares away much of her business.

00:21:17 One of the employees asks Sutherland if he is a doctor. “No, health department.”

00:21:31 “My wife is sick,” the employee continues, “something’s wrong.”

00:21:45 Donald points to the lady he just gave his dress shirt to. “She okay?”

00:21:55 “No,” the man responds, “that’s not my wife.” The woman gives the man a crippling glare. “That’s not my wife,” he repeats…

00:22:56 Sutherland returns to his office and rings up Elizabeth. She doesn’t answer. Later, he walks towards the elevator and is shocked by a sweating Elizabeth. She cannot speak. After trying a few words, she simply hugs Sutherland and weeps. A janitor creepily watches from down the hall. Keep it in your pants, bro.

00:23:54 “I keep seeing these people,” Elizabeth explains later as Sutherland drives, “recognizing each other.” Elizabeth doesn’t like the idea of tight-knit communities.

00:24:07 “It’s a conspiracy,” Elizabeth concludes. We need some social media up in here to drive people apart! Too much personal interaction! This ends now!

00:24:25 Elizabeth recounts her visit to Geoff’s office. She tried to enter but his door was locked. She looked out the window and noticed him taking a stroll with a strange woman. Elizabeth pursued and realized that he was interacting with all different strange people. It’s quite obvious, Elizabeth. Geoff has joined a friendship cult. It’s time to move on and probably stare at Donald Sutherland’s hair for days on end.

I always feeeel like somebodyyysss watching meeee

00:26:02 Sutherland continues to drive around with his shattered windshield. I’m mildly disappointed that he isn’t Ace Ventura-ing it. Maybe he’s worried about ruining his kick ass perm.

00:27:18 Sutherland tries to tell Elizabeth a joke but Elizabeth cuts him off halfway; she has heard it before. Well I haven’t, Elizabeth, so would you stop being so rude and let the mustached man finish his goddamn joke?

00:27:25 A man runs into Sutherland’s car. Well that windshield couldn’t be anymore shattered so no harm, no foul.

00:27:30 Oh, the man’s still conscious. “Help! Help! They’re coming!” Okay, crazy man, I see that you are uninjured so can you remove yourself from my windshield? Please and thank you.

00:27:49 He runs off and about three dozen others chase after him. Cars swerve. Police men pursue. RIOT!!!

00:28:15 Sutherland follows the mob. He slowly drives past a group of people staring down at the crazy man’s bleeding body. At least his final words were ironic.

00:28:55 Oh look! It’s Jeff Goldblum! And he has big hair too! You’re not legit though until you pair it with a mustache.

00:28:57 The couple meet Goldblum at a bookstore. Sutherland calls the police from a pay phone to offer a witness report. “Yeahhhh that never happened sir. Now kindly fuck off,” says the imaginary-possessed-police-in-my-head.

00:29:44 Sutherland insists and Goldblum rants about conspiracies. Oh Goldblum.

Jeff Goldblum doing Jeff Goldblum things.

00:30:07 Elizabeth overhears a woman shouting about her husband being, “not her husband. It’s someone who looks like him. An impostor!” If only Ben Affleck in Gone Girl had such keen awareness…

00:31:34 Elizabeth notices that everyone is pretty much staring at her. I don’t know, Elizabeth. Maybe rumors circulated through their friendship cult about you being newly single and you’re pretty and all. Maybe people are trying to make moves. All I’m saying is that Sutherland better lock ya up quick. And with all this romantic atmosphere, disaster’s innnnn the airrrrr! Oh hey! That line may actually relate here!

00:32:36 Oh look! It’s Spock!

00:32:53 Spock lectures about change being everywhere. “People are stepping in and out of relationships too fast. They don’t want the responsibility.” If only there was an ‘it’s complicated’ status option for the friendship cult!

00:33:51 Spock continues his whole sociological spiel. I guess he’s the alien’s Socrates? Or is he just always like this? Please don’t tell me that he’s always like this because he is rather insufferable.

00:35:14 Elizabeth finally accepts what he is saying because she’s tired from being cross-analyzed for the last half hour.

00:36:29 Jeff Goldblum arrives at a mud bath place. “Oh hey,” the employee welcomes him, “is that (Spock’s) new book?” Goldblum immediately spikes the book into the ground. FUCK YEAH, GOLDBLUM!

00:38:06 Goldblum takes his mud bath. An employee begins massaging one of her clients. Classical music vibrates through the bathroom. “Can we turn the music off please?” the client requests. “No, the plants just love it,” the employee declines. “Plants have feelings, you know? Just like people.” Okay, new plan: kill the fucking plants.

00:39:54 Sutherland brings Elizabeth home but she is hesitant to enter. Sutherland offers to walk her in.

00:40:05 They find a gift plant that Geoff has left for his neglected girlfriend. FUCKING KILL IT!

00:40:42 Elizabeth is flattered by the gift (it’s a trap!) and cock-blocked Sutherland leaves. Oh, and Geoff waits eerily behind a wall. Jealous much?

00:41:07 The Mud Bath employee starts closing up for the night and she finds a body. Goldblum comes running around the corner to see what all the screaming is about.

00:42:08 Instead of calling the police or a doctor, they call Health Department deputy Sutherland. Smooth move, now he’s definitely going to shut you guys down; he was pissed over one rat turd, what do you think his reaction will be over a whole body??

00:42:39 Sutherland investigates the body. “It’s got no detail, no character,” Goldblum analyzes, “it’s like deformed.”

00:43:29 “No fingerprints either,” Goldblum continues. Man, those mud baths sure are intense!

00:44:04 Sutherland decides to call Elizabeth; has a new idea for a spontaneous date.

00:44:18 Elizabeth picks up the phone but doesn’t answer. Her face is now slightly scaly and she appears out-of-it. Geoff takes the phone and hangs up.

00:45:15 Sutherland orders Goldblum to call Spock as he drives away to find Elizabeth. Goldblum complains about being tired and wanting to lie down. Come on, man, can’t you see that shit is starting to get interesting? You can take a nap later!

00:46:07 Goldblum lies down and the employee (who may actually be his wife? I don’t fucking know) takes a closer look at the unidentified body. As she inspects it, the eyes blink open. Panicked, she runs to awaken Goldblum but he is just wayyy too into his R.E.M. cycle. Try again in like three hours.

00:46:26 Oh nevermind. Goldblum awakens and the body’s eyes close. Dun dun dunnnn.

00:46:37 Goldblum inspects (twin) Goldblum. The body begins to bleed from it’s nose.

00:46:59 Spock arrives and he is pissed! Looks like we’re in for another fucking lecture.

00:47:19 Jump cut to Sutherland arriving at Elizabeth’s apartment. He knocks but no one answers. He climbs around to the window and sees Geoff sitting in a chair. Not the way to treat your guests, Geoffrey.

00:48:30 Sutherland scrambles behind the house and breaks in. I can see the spinoff movie now: former Health Department Chief turns in his badge for a life of crime.

00:50:17 He sneaks up into Elizabeth’s room and finds two Elizabeths! One who is asleep in the bed and another who is cocooned in plants. Choose wisely!

00:50:42 Geoff enters and Sutherland hides in the closet. Geoff inspects Elizabeth and leaves. What a caring boyfriend!

00:51:30 Sutherland carries Elizabeth down the stairs. He throws her in his car and drives away. Never has a home invasion ever been more romantic.

00:52:46 Spock reports to Goldblum and (random?) employee that there is no body in the Mud Baths. Goldblum rushes through all the rooms and discovers an open window. Come on, guys. You can’t be losing dead bodies that easily. It’s never a good sign. And it’s not good business!

00:54:04 Sutherland returns with an awakened Elizabeth. He begins dialing the police. “Who are you waking up now, Donald?” Fucking Spock knows. “I’d like to report a body,” Sutherland says.

00:55:02 Sutherland returns to Geoff’s police-surrounded home. Spock wanders into the crime scene (because I guess Spock can do that?) and discovers that Elizabeth’s cocooned twin is also missing.

00:56:20 The police threaten to take Sutherland in for breaking, entering and kidnapping Elizabeth. Spock tells them that it’s all good and calls them off (because I guess Spock can fucking do that??)

00:56:44 Woah, we just got consecutive smash-zooms on some faces. I just got way too much imagery of Spock and Sutherland’s nose hairs.

00:57:03 More smash-zooms! I have now seen everyone’s nose hairs.

00:57:37 Morning: the entourage explains the whole story to Spock, who just lays on the couch like an asshole and condescendingly disallows all of the information given to him. Who even invited this guy?

00:58:45 “People are being duplicated,” Elizabeth concludes. Spock rolls his eyes. “Bah humbug. Fuck any information or knowledge not bestowed by me! You are all fools and not worthy of my efforts. Beam me up to the Enterprise!”

00:59:18 “Come on, will you listen to how you all sound?” Spock scolds the group. It’s five on one, Spock. You can quit your fucking shenanigans, we’re fucking voting on facts now.

00:59:34 “You called me in the middle of the night to help,” Spock reasons, “that’s all I’m trying to do.” Yeah, who the fuck called this guy again?

Spock being just a complete asshole.

01:00:01 Confirmed: mud bath employee is Goldblum’s wife. They just have a strange relationship.

01:00:04 Sutherland has since left to go hang out on the roof. As Goldblum does his typical Goldblum freak out, Spock joins Sutherland.

01:00:10 He tells Sutherland that he believes him but that he is skeptical. Why couldn’t you have acted reasonably all night, Spock?? Maybe he just likes being an asshole.

01:01:08 Spock leaves; promises to call some other dude. He walks down the block to his vehicle. He gets in and is greeted by Geoff. “The sooner the better,” Geoff exhales.

01:01:10 Fucking Spock.

01:01:31 Goldblum starts smelling a flower. How come we haven’t killed all the strange new plants yet?!

01:02:02 Elizabeth begs him to put. the. flower. down. She had investigated and had not found a single description of it in her flower’s almanac. Or something.

01:02:21 “Well what is it?” Goldblum mocks, “a space flower?” Woah, woah. We jumped to space flower pretty doggone quick!

01:02:26 “Well why do we expect metal ships?” the wife questions. We just jumped to the rapid conclusion of aliens pretty fucking quick, you guys. Goldblum was simply smelling a pretty flower 60 seconds ago. Now we are having a panic attack over an alien invasion? I mean, I know he’s right but this turned rather quick.

01:03:05 “Aliens are happening now,” the wife decisively announces to Sutherland. Well, shit! I guess we have an alien plant invasion then. Only took a total of 90 seconds to decide this. Seems legit!

01:03:17 Sutherland returns to his office and dials up Spock. His assistant answers and informs him that he is out of office. Sutherland makes another call, this one to an agency. He wants to report a claim of impostors. They ask him to keep it on the down-low as they do not wish to create a panic. They will call him back.

01:04:54 And they call him back. The Mayor’s assistant asks to meet in Union Square.

01:05:27 They meet. Sutherland leaves.

01:05:39 Sutherland makes a call from a pay phone. His dial out becomes intercepted by the Mayor’s assistant’s secretary. She reminds him about discretion.

01:06:06 The pay phone rings. It’s a member of the federal preparedness agency. They pretty much tell him that he has no evidence and that he is crazy. They ask him for discretion.

01:06:26 Sutherland tries a different pay phone. It rings and he answers. It’s the secretary again, telling him that he’s crazy and that his discretion is advised. Maybe stop picking up ringing pay phones, Sutherland. They don’t seem to be very kind people.

01:06:51 Sutherland decides to visit his old friend from the dry cleaners. “No, she’s better now,” the man reassures, “much better now.” Okay, that’s good and all. But do you have my goddamn dress shirt?

Something’s up

01:07:31 Day turns to night. Goldblum and the others hide out at Sutherland’s apartment. Goldblum can’t find any clear stations on the radio. Just white noise.

01:08:34 Spock returns and checks on Elizabeth who is laying in bed. Are we still inviting this guy over?

01:08:44 He gives her pills?? I know Spock is some kind of psychiatrist-author but he’s not a goddamn doctor, is he? Why does he have free rule over this faction??

01:09:39 Spock leaves. Sure, give out drugs and peace out. That doesn’t draw some concerns.

01:10:18 Sutherland exits the house and applies a lock on the gate. He sits in a lawn chair and watches the cityscape.

01:11:15 Sutherland falls asleep outside and the grass CRAWLS UP HIS SLEEVE?! The fucking grass is in on this too!?

01:12:03 The grass drags his DNA or whatever to this giant plant thing which no one recognized in his yard before and gives birth to an impostor Sutherland. Nooooo! No alien plant can replicate such a perm!

01:13:50 This birthing scene is still going on and I feel like I’m watching an actual birth. Please stop this.

01:14:45 Giant Alien Plant has now birthed four of these pod people and they’re just convulsing on the ground. Ughh, human birth may actually be less gross.

01:14:54 Wife begins screaming and Sutherland awakens to find his poorly cloned perm laying next to him.

01:15:29 They rush inside to awaken the others. Sutherland gets on the phone and calls the police. He reports the new bodies and the dispatcher informs him, “we’ll be right there, Mr. (Sutherland).”

01:15:32 “How do you know my name?”

01:16:18 Elizabeth looks outside. “The police are barricading the street.”

01:16:52 Figures begin sprinting towards the apartment.

01:17:32 The gang runs. As Sutherland runs past his poorly cloned perm, he stops and grabs a shovel. He brutally massacres his pod-person clone. Should have gotten the mustache right, Alien Plant.

01:18:50 The gang runs and the impostors chase.

01:20:42 They’re finally backed into a corner. Goldblum tells Sutherland and Elizabeth to hide and he’ll draw the impostors off. He kisses his wife and runs into the fray. Wife immediately renders his goodbye kiss meaningless and runs off after him.

01:22:31 Sutherland and Elizabeth attempt to blend in but they are quickly discovered. Everybody knows members of the Pod People Cult exclusively wears Axe: Dark Temptation body spray!

01:23:01 Chase re-ensues.

01:23:45 Sutherland and Elizabeth turn a corner and get away? They jump into a cab. “Airport, please.”

01:24:50 The cabbie questions their plans at the airport. Sutherland plays Captain Smooth and aces each intruding question.

01:25:35 The cab is stopped at a police road block but when the officer comes over to investigate the vehicle, it’s passengers have already left.

01:26:33 Sutherland and Elizabeth finally decide to hide out at the Department of Health.

01:27:18 The police show up shortly after to investigate. This isn’t an alien invasion, this is a police invasion!

01:27:30 But really, why are the Pod People from Mars playing this coy and sending single police men to hunt down the last two (maybe) remaining humans in the city? Send the swarm of Pod People, guys! They’re not getting away if you go full-on invasion. The Pod People obviously lack a strong leader.

01:28:11 Sutherland and Elizabeth escape Pod Policeman’s watch. Then they make out. CANNNN YOU FEEEEELLLL THE LOVEEEEE TONIGHTTTTTT? THE PEACE THE EVENING BRINGSSSSSSSS. THE WORLD FOR ONCEEEEE, IN PERFECT HARMONYYYYY. WITH ALL ITS LIVING THINGSSSSS!

END CREDITS

01:28:14 Just kidding. Although I could totally accept that ending.

01:29:11 Sutherland peaks through the blinds. The impostors continue their impostoring deeds, carrying their humanoid cocoons throughout the city. This could turn out to be a real cute twin thing if these two groups ever find a peaceful middle ground.

01:30:12 “Don’t fall asleep,” Sutherland warns. And with that, Wes Craven was influenced to create Nightmare on Elm Street.

01:30:13 The phone rings. Sutherland and Elizabeth refuse to answer. Somewhere, Ghost Face Killah punches a hole through the wall.

01:30:37 “Here take some speed,” Elizabeth offers, “it’ll keep us awake.”

“How many?”

“It says take one.”

“Take five,” Sutherland swallows the drugs. Invasion of the Body Snatchers just got interesting!

01:31:05 Goldblum and Wife appear in the Department of Health. And they brought friends!

01:31:24 Spock is with them and no one is surprised. I guess they just accepted that either this asshole is already a Pod Person or he’s jerk enough to just go with it anyway.

01:32:08 Spock injects Sutherland with a needle. Are we sure this guy is a licensed doctor?

01:32:11 Also Sutherland just took five speed pills. He’s totally going to O.D. with this horse tranquilizer shit Spoke is shooting him up with.

01:32:42 “I hate you,” Elizabeth tells Spock. Me too, Elizabeth. Me too.

01:33:24 Alien Spock begins another condescending lecture. Christ, this guy may be more of an asshole than the psychiatrist in Psycho.

01:33:49 “We arrived here,” Spock monologues, “from a dying planet.”

01:34:25 “…. pushed on by the solar winds…” when this monologue started, Geoff was still a human being.

01:34:42 “… the function of life…. is survival…” I’m pretty sure Sutherland’s speed pills have worn off over the course of this lecture.

01:34:51 Sutherland pushes Spock and strangles Goldblum. Elizabeth breaks a bottle over Spock’s head. Enough of your fucking monologuing!

01:35:03 They stash Spock’s unconscious body in the freezer and begin their escape.

01:35:27 Sutherland and Elizabeth run into Wife on the staircases. They freeze and Wife stares. She finally breaks the silence with tears, “(Goldblum) and I got separated, I can’t find him.”

01:35:47 “How did you get in here,” Sutherland interrogates.

“They’re easy to fool,” Wife explains, “don’t show any emotions and they can’t identify you.”

Now that explains why they hired such a forgettable actress!

01:36:31 The gang walk out of the Health Department lobby. Their blank expressions fool their intruders.

01:37:31 They’re detected by some crazy looking dog with a bearded human face (I don’t fucking know). An old Pod lady screams like a siren; Sutherland full-on slaps her.

01:37:43 Sutherland and Elizabeth begin running as the impostors direct their attention unto them. Wife sneaks away into the shadows.

01:38:15 They sprint and board a moving semi truck. It outpaces their attackers and continues on.

01:39:10 They reach their destination: a construction yard full of fork lifts, construction vehicles, and cocoons. The two of them escape undetected.

01:40:54 Elizabeth realizes that now would be the worst time to sprain one’s ankle so she does exactly that. Sutherland carries her into some foliage. They notice ships in the harbor so Sutherland goes off to investigate a possible escape route. Bagpipes play ‘Amazing Grace’ in the background. Apparently, in the Pod People’s limited time on Earth, they’ve learned the art of bagpipes.

01:42:55 Sutherland realizes that the ships are alien controlled as well so he returns to Elizabeth, who has fallen asleep.

01:43:39 By the way, how long ago did Spock inject Sutherland with that sedative? Is the speed counteracting against it?

01:44:16 Woahhh. Elizabeth just fucking melted in Sutherland’s hands. That’s new. Sutherland cries.

01:44:29 A completely naked Elizabeth appears behind him. Sutherland is simultaneously horrified and slightly aroused.

01:44:57 She begs him to join her. One of us. One of us. Sutherland runs.

01:46:22 He climbs up scaffolding and sneaks around on the catwalk of the facility’s Greenhouse of Evil. He sets his eyes on an ax. Fuck yeah.

01:47:15 He grabs the ax and hacks away at the massive overhanging lights in the Greenhouse of Evil. The beam of bulbs fall and IGNITE THE ALIEN PLANTS IN BLAZING FIRE.

01:48:36 The whole facility goes up in flames. Still-completely naked Elizabeth arrives to witness the destruction. She points up to Sutherland on the catwalk and screams the Pod People’s trademarked Siren sound.

01:49:22 Sutherland is chased by the impostors but the exploding Greenhouse of Horrors engulfs most of the invaders.

01:50:34 Sutherland sneaks underneath the dock as the search continues. One of the Pod People sticks a flashlight down one of the gaps in the dock and shines it right into the camera. The screen goes white.

01:51:01 Daylight. Sutherland stands in the middle of town square as children hop off a school bus and cocoons are carried off trucks.

01:51:40 He returns to the Department of Health and watches as scientists in the lab experiment with equipment. He then leaves to sit in his office.

01:52:42 He notices others in the hall walking single file. He rises and joins them. He eventually breaks off and wanders around town square. He hears his name and stops. To his left is Wife. She approaches him but stops. Sutherland points his finger and screams the siren of the Pod People. Wife drops helplessly to her knees.

END CREDITS

That’s a wrap on Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Whoever thought plants could do so much damage? Well we learned to not trust rare species of flowers because they may try to clone you and take over the universe, that Spock can be a complete dick sometimes and that Goldblum has quite the awkward relationship with his wife.

I mean seriously. I apologize for how confusing this diary log must be with not giving her a name but he really just treated her like some random employee at a mud bathhouse. And I’m not giving her a name in editing either! We’re keeping it this way!

Anyway, Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a pretty good horror film. It’s already considered a classic but I don’t think this generation ever considers it when rattling off the best horror movies. Oh and Donald Sutherland pulls off the best mustache/perm combo in film history. No one will ever come close.

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